that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
