My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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