I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
