She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
