he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
