the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
