They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
