bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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