Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
