I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you win again, gameday.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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