New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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