It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
