i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
