dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
