Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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