do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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