Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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