Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
the raccoons are back...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
