K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
