ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he thought i was a dude.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
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The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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