Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
