his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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