listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We need to get me chipped asap
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
