im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
