What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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