I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This show inspires me to have sex in space
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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