Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
