dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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