I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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