i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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