yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
