it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
