You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
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All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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