I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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