i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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