i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Randomize
