Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
