peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
