Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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