Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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