we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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