I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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