you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
