I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
