No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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