no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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