I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
