you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
