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My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
third nipple confirmed
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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