I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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