My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize