actually, I'm a sock model
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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