I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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