its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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