the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
