genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize