Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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