About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
