Whod you bang
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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