my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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