Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
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Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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