booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
