Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
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Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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