you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
