If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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